They’re a happy bunch, by and large – quick to laugh and good at mingling. But what happens when archaeologists go bad?
Try any one of the following and you’re guaranteed to find out…
1. Write a post about five guaranteed ways to annoy an archaeologist
Top of the list, has to be writing this list. ‘Thanks a million Dingo!’ they’re probably thinking, ‘Now everyone knows what buttons to press!!!’ Sorry fellow archaeology folks. I’m compelled to tell the truth no matter how unpalatable. It’s a public service.
2. Ask them what’s the best thing they’ve ever found
Ah yes. A classic of its genre. Archaeologists actually really enjoy answering this one. The first million times. Even the second, third and fourth it’s kinda cute. But by the fifth million, that’s when the cracks begin to show, and the sixth? Well, just don’t say we didn’t warn you…
3. Mix ‘archaeologist’ up with ‘architect’ in casual conversation, then throw in a comment about ‘digging up dinosaurs’
GOD IN HEAVEN WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?!
4. Ask anyone sweating with a shovel: ‘have you found any gold/oil/Richard III/ or Australia yet?
Completely ineffective at parties, but cast it merrily from the trench edge and you’re on to a winner. At first it’s just not funny, but don’t let that put you off. Just keep repeating it, over and over again. It’ll get funny eventually.
5. Joke loudly ‘ah, so it must be your lot’s fault for the delays on the A19/new city centre development/hospital rebuild/anything new and important that’s being built’
No, no of course it isn’t – everyone knows archaeology’s part of the planning process, factored into the development cycle from the beginning to make sure progress stays on track. But it’s just a joke, right? Of course. Just make sure you don’t say this ‘joke’ stood next to any deep holes. It can get very, very slippy.
And one way to make sure all is forgiven…
Say the following words, with no deviation, hesitation (but plenty of repetition).
“That was fascinating. Looks like it’s my round. Fancy another?”
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Written by Brendon Wilkins
As Founder and Co-CEO of DigVentures, Brendon brings together two decades of commercial archaeology experience with his expertise in digital innovation for archaeological fieldwork, public participation, and social impact evaluation. With a consistent research and publication record, his PhD (‘Digging the Crowd: the future of archaeology in the digital and collaborative economy’) explores new business and social impact models that position citizen science as a response to economic and climatic challenges facing humanity. Brendon steers the ship of DV’s fieldwork, evaluation and ‘Deep Time’, our crowdscience platform training citizens to search Earth Observation Data for cultural and natural heritage. Brendon’s signature laugh lights up every room, especially when he sneaks onto the turntables for a cheeky DJ set!
Comments (9)
So if it annoys archaeologists to confuse them with architects…. what actually is the difference between a buildings archaeologist and an architectural historian?
Good question Aggie – and thanks for raising this semantic quibble. The major difference is that the building archaeologists career is in ruins, and the architectural historians… isn’t.
The architectural historian is the one in tweed and brogues whereas the buildings archaeologist is covered in guano
As a digging archaeologist originally I was far more annoyed to be jokingly asked about dinosaurs – or if I’d dig whoever’s garden over… now I’m a building archaeologist and don’t really mind the confusion with architectural historian. At least the subject matter is the same, unlike potatoes or dinosaur bones!
I took an Anthro class at the University of Illinois about 35 years ago with Dr. David Grove who excavated an Olmec site at Chalcozingo in Mexico. Some tourist lady kept bugging them to buy some artifacts, so one of his assistants made some up with mud dried on the radiator of their jeep. When he went to some function some months later in New York, one of his colleagues approached him and said, “Grove! You should see what’s coming out of your area lately!” Everytime I see “Mayan” or “Aztec” figures in an antique shop, I always remember that! And NEVER buy any!
I too have often been confused by members of the public with an architect but the most memorable by far was ‘excuse me young man, are you one of the alki-ologists’?
What’s a Narchaeologist though? ( a narcissistic archaeologist? A narked archaeologist? A narcoleptic archaeologist?
You forgot to mention the person who says ” you can come and dig up my garden any time you like”
It never fails, as soon as I say I’m an archaeologist, someone brings up aliens or giants. *Sigh*